Do I need a coach or do I need a therapist?

If you have a diagnosis or you think you have clicnical symptoms of mental illness, then a therapist is what you would need. If you have relationship issues, or confidence issues, basically “life” issues, then a coach or a therapist would be sufficient. A coach tends to have a more present and future focus. If you want someone who is going to do a lot of problem solving and giving you tools, then I would recommend a coach. If you want to delve into your past and work through trauma or other clinical diagnoses, then a therapist would be better for you.

I don’t feel like counseling works.

You are right. Counseling and coaching does not work for all people. And some counselors and coaches are better at some things than others. In fact, some coaches and counselors unfortunately take on a wide variety of issues and end up knowing just a little about everything. Here at Resonance Counseling and Coaching, we focus on one thing: relationships. And we are darn good at it. We are not allowed to say that you will definitely be helped, but we can say that we have done this enough times to know what we are doing. So you’ve got a good chance!

We have a history of helping hundreds of couples get back on track and rebuild their relationships. See some of our success stories here.

What makes you qualified to help me?

David is a relationship life coach with over 20 years of experience helping couples find healing and connection. His experience has been in relationship counseling as well as pastoral counseling, with real people with real problems here in the Silicon Valley. Tech people, lawyers, teachers, moms, coming to him with issues like infidelity, parenting conflicts, communication issues, to name a few. People say he has the ability to make coaching sessions relaxed, he has a good sense of humor, and is very friendly, non-judgemental and insightful. Read more about what people have to say in his yelp reviews here.

i'm new to counseling/coaching.How Does It All Work?

In our sessions, we start off with collecting data. Lots of it. We get lots of people who say “I read this book and that book and for some reason the techniques didn’t work.” That’s because every relationship is so different with so many layers. A book is not going to address all those different layers. We try to do that by really understanding the layers and twists and turns in your relationship.

And from there, we figure out what patterns are occurring and where the patterns are not working for you. From there, we give you applicable and relevant tools to help redirect your conflicts. Some of the advice is similar to what you may read in books or online but it is tailored to your specific situation so it is more likely to work.

If I seek help, does it mean that I am weak?

In order to get better at something, we all need a coach. Take some of the best sports players out there. They all used coaches. Why not use a coach for life? Only a good sports player who is driven to do his best would do all he could to improve and seek coaching from someone who’s been there and knows how to improve on their weak spots so they can become their absolute best. In the same way, a person who is driven to be his best in his life–in his personal life and his relationships–would seek a coach to help him grow to have the best life he could have. Seeking out a coach doesn’t mean you are week–in fact, it means you are driven, and courageous to do all you can to be your best.

Getting help does not mean that you are weak, or cannot take care of your life. In fact, it means you are courageous enough to see where you are stuck and where you need to go. You are a problem solver. In coaching, we don’t focus too much on the past. Coaching is not about “fixing problems,” but rather it’s about taking where you are and making it better.

how long does it take to see results?

The first session or two is usually spent collecting data. However, we always try to give you something to take home during the first session. Maybe an insight or a piece of advice to try. After a few sessions, as we get to know you more, we will be able to do more interventions and do more guidance to get the momentum moving.